Tuesday, July 24, 2012

How come my feelings are inadequete????

Is it really to much to ask that my feelings be taken into consideration. I know that everyone else has their problems & issues. And I try very hard to be there and take them in and help them if I can or just to listen to them so they feel better. So why is it that i cannot get the same in return. I mean EVERY time I say something is bothering me or whatever I get well try having this or this. Yes I am VERY blessed with my life. I am also VERY grateful for what I have as well. I know that things could be worse for me. But does that really mean that my problems or feelings are inadequate now?????
Like do they really mean less because of what you are specifically going through and dealing with??
I hate feeling this way. I really wanna just run away. All of this BS I am going through is LITERALLY sucking the life out of me and I have to FIGHT HARD EVERY SINGLE DAY to stay positive and be happy.
This is not how things are supposed to be or how I even want to be.

I really feel quite alone and that I do not have anyone to talk to and lean on. So much is crumbling around me and I am trying to be strong and positive for myself and the ones close to me. But that is so very hard when I cannot be honest with my family or friends.

I have changed a LOT since I was in school. I am not that person. So I am tired of being judged for who I was then. People really should remember that NO ONE is perfect. and that people do change. No one should be judged because  we do not know everything that someone is going through...
This is why when I am out and someone is mean to be I have to "Kill them with kindness." I mean think bout it what good does it do to be rude and mean to them back? You have no idea what they are going through. We all have trials we are dealing with. Sometimes we need someone to be kind to us.

I am not perfect so I do not always do this by any means. But I do try hard to follow this because I believe that is how we should treat others. But yet.... it is so hard to not be treated this way and to feel like what I feel or want is worthless.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Pictures :)

New hair, Xavier n Thomas, me the other night I loo thin. I knew I lost weight I am finally starting to see it in pictures :)

Friday, July 13, 2012

Happy Fun Crazy Life! But It is my life!

Good Afternoon!

I love my crazy hectic life! I love schedules and I guess that I kinda have one. But even tho it is crazy, and exhausting, I am excited about so much! I am finally on the road to get back to school. I have yet again changed my mind about my career. I am now gonna work on becoming a psychologist. :) I am STOKED about it. I am so glad to be back in our church here. Bethany is a amazing church, with so many awesome people. I have missed them very much! :) It feels great to be back. 
Xavier is growing so fast! I LOVE that he is finally giving real hugs and talking so much. As well as he is giving kisses... with pucker and all. When he randomly comes up and gives me a hug or a kiss I LOVE it. It MELTS my heart every time. 
Thomas finally got a knee scooter. He is getting around easier. Which is really good. He can't wait til the 18th to get his ex-fix off. His family is supposed to be visiting sometime soon. Just not sure about the dates soon.
Also I am excited to be going and visiting a friend next month. 
I also have started my crafting again. It is not as much as I want with everything else going on but it is a start which is better than before which was nothing at all. It is even me learning new crafts. 
Also I have been cooking and baking more and trying new recipes. I LOVE it! I have a passion for those things so it is great to be back into them. 
I also have been working out and I feel so good and feel amazing! I am sore but I do not mind it. I like feeling sore. I am finally starting to see a difference. I am seeing definition slowly but surely coming back in my tummy.. if only I could get this baby pooch to tighten up. I am trying to avoid surgery for it but if I get my abs back and still have it I will get a tummy tuck. But luckily I just need a mini tuck. Which the only thing that scares me about that is the scar. Some of them I have seen are not so good and I don't want a bad one. 
Now if only my thighs will start to tone more and get the cellulite gone. That is my biggest thing. I wanna wear shorts and skirts but i hate my  thighs. But I know I just gotta stick with it because I can see the definition coming back in them. It is just slow. 

Well that is all I wanna share for now. Thanks! 


Saturday, July 7, 2012

Sunshining Day

Good Afternoon To All You Lovely Followers!

I do hope that this day finds you all very well. I apologize for my absence.. we got internet and for a while it was giving us issues. I do hope that they are finally fixed. As I think I mentioned before Thomas' mom came to visit. It was a good visit. She left earlier this week so I have been playing catch up and trying to find a routine. As well as finish getting the house together. Later this month.. around the 19th Thomas Dad, Step Mom, and 3 sisters will be coming to visit. They are getting ready to move to Hawaii for a year or so, and not sure when if or when we can make it over there so It will be nice to have the visit with them.
I also am back to looking for work. I am excited to get back to work. It will be a good break from the house and to help out. As well as my independence. I am sure some of y'all know how that it is. 

Oh I am officially ADDICTED to pinterest. l0l. Truthfully, how many of y'all are too?? 
I have done a few things off of there. I have made a visual aid for my weight loss journey. I have also made some jewelery from wire. I have started some new dishcloth patterns. i am also making a time out chair for my son. I am making other jewelery as well. I have made a few recipes and 2 of them have been AWESOME! However, one that I was excited bout did not turn out great and I tried it twice and I do not like it.  Oh and I tried some beauty tips. Like half a lemon and 3 to 4 drops of honey rub on your back and let it set for 5 min. Then wash it off with cool water. It totally worked to remove the blackheads. YAY! l0l. Have you tried anything from there? If so, what was it and what did you think of it??

We also took our son to the park on most.. like other than the neighborhood park and it has a water park on it as well and he LOVES water. So of course he plated in the water and loved it. It was great! Thomas took pictures since he couldn't play in the water with his cast. I will post those pics soon. 

Thomas is doing good. The 18ths he gets the external metal removed from his foot. He is counting down to that. YAY! Not sure about what they will do after that. He is getting around much better. Meds are working.. I do have to watch him because July 4th we were in the ER from him stopping them and he had complications. So I need to make sure he keeps them up. 

Oh so a favorite memory as well as activity to do in Cardboard sledding. For those of y'all who do not know what that is. In Florida we do not get snow.. well we do but RARE and hardly anything, if it even sticks. Well to get to go sledding we take cardboard boxes or whatever you want l0l and go sledding down the hills. 
At our new home we have a huge hill in the back yard so that meant cardboard sledding with my lil boy. He liked it. He was unsure at first but then he liked it. And again let I will post pictures soon. 

Now Tell me how your doing???